


Burning Heart

by MorganAnne14



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bullying, F/M, Fire Au, M/M, Not my au but I got permission to write it, Rude terms, s a d
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 09:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4516845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganAnne14/pseuds/MorganAnne14





	Burning Heart

When I was a kid, I was a real asshole. I mean I still am but not as much. Eren Jaeger had lost his mom at a young age and for some stupid fucking reason I made fun of him for it. One of the times I was a prick to Jaeger, I had some something about how my mother's cooking was the best. I put the emphasis on 'mother' throwing a sneer his way. Of course this started a fight, which was the usual outcome but neither of us ever won. Mikasa, the raven haired goddess, would always step in and break it up.

 

Eren and I were always at each other's throats while Mikasa, Armin, Connie, and Sasha watched from the sidelines. I wasn't jealous of Jaeger, not one bit. I just didn't like the guy, I didn't like how he was always babied because his mother died. Okay, now thinking that statement over maybe I was a little jealous. Eventually everyone started to dislike me because of the way I treated him, besides Sasha and Connie. Those two were always stuck up my ass, but friends are friends. My childhood is one thing I always think about, I reminisce in the old days not wanting to remember how it was after. I hadn't realized how hard I was biting onto my pencil until Connie had said something. 

 

"Jean, are you trying to eat the god damn thing?" He laughed loudly and slapped my back. I groaned at him then shoved the pencil away. 

 

"Shut up, Connie." I spat, grouping my things together before the bell rang. Connie darted in front of me, shoving everyone out of the way to get to the mess hall. I swear he and Sasha would do anything for food, and I mean _anything_. I walked down the hall, trying my best to stay clear of assholes that push and shove. No one ever tells you how hard collage is going to be, how fucking draining it is. My first year at university and I fucking hate it with a burning passion. I entered the mess hall searching for Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but instead found one person I didn't want to. I saw familiar emerald eyes and started to panic, I wasn't ready to face him after all of these years. I turned to leave when right at that moment Connie called over to me.

 

"Jean, come on! You've gotta try this!" I slowly turned to look at him, frowning immensely. If Jaeger saw me I was dead meat, he probably was prepared to kick the shit out of me. I gave Connie a death glare, turning to walk away once more. Of course Sasha was the next to yell to me. It's like those two wanted me to die, jesus fucking christ. I mentally cringed and walked over to them, trying my best to hide my face with my jacket. 

 

"Holy shit! It's Kirschtein." I heard a voice call out, I knew it sounded familiar but it was deeper. Of course it would be deeper, we were both adults now but still. I slowly let down my jacket and peaked over at the voice. Eren had the shit-eating grin on his face as he ran over to me. I said nothing as I tried to get away from this situation, trying to avoid the boy I bullied all of those years ago. "You gained some weight, not that it's a bad thing." He said, pinching my cheeks. I shoved his hand away, basically burning a whole through his body with my eyes. 

 

"Don't fucking touch me." I growled. After what happened in the past, I didn't like anyone to touch me. Eren backed away putting his hands up ready to make a scene. I groaned loudly and began to walk away. 

 

"I'm sorry dude, no need to freak out!" Eren said loud enough for everyone to hear, I was ready to fucking pounce on him but I couldn't. I was a better person now I was more controlled than before. I tried my best to ignore him, walking further away. "What? You've got nothing to say after all of these years?" He yelled it, he fucking yelled it. It was like he was a little kid and it annoyed the fuck out of me. He walked after me, shoving me to the ground. "After all you fucking did to me, you have nothing to say?!" I tried to get up but he stepped on my stomach to keep me down. 

 

"Get off." I whimpered out, trying to stay strong. He didn't move though, of course not. He just stayed there, smirking like an asshole. Did anyone help? Nope. Not one single fucking person. I tried to push his foot off but he was fucking strong, way stronger than when we were kids. 

 

"Payback's a fucking bitch, isn't it fat ass?" He got down on top of me, and started to punch my face repeatedly. I was crying, trying to push him off. I didn't want this, I didn't want him to do this but I guess I deserved it. After all I did. Mikasa came over, forcing him off of me. I scattered to my feet and grabbed my shit, like hell I was staying there. I heard everyone's laughter as I ran, it echoed in my hears. When I got to my dorm, I fell to the floor crying. This is the last thing I needed to happen because all I fucking wanted was to be happy. Happiness if over rated though, right?

 

I decided to skip the rest of my classes, and in return got a visit from the only two people on campus who gave a shit. Connie and Sasha walked into my room and acted like nothing had happened, which they knew that by doing that I'd be happy. I was sitting at my computer, desperately trying to finish a term paper on the human brain and it's emotions. 

 

"Jean, I got you something to eat." Connie said, muffling his laughter. I turned around to see the bald headed douchebag holding a pack of pencils. I squinted at him, trying my best not to laugh. Even if they did annoy me sometimes, Sasha and Connie were always there to make me laugh. 

 

"Connie, you little prick-" I tackled him onto the floor, playfully wrestling him, while Sasha snapped a few pictures. After we calmed down, I broke down in tears. It wasn't unusual for me to cry, I did it most nights. Just normally, alone. I got up from the floor and walked into my bathroom, mentally screaming at myself for being so weak. They were never supposed to see me cry, I was supposed to be stable around them, and this wasn't fair to them. I cried silently, ignoring the sounds of knocking on the door. You see, the thing is, Eren was right. I am a fatass, I did this to myself. I hadn't had anyone who was attracted to me since before the incident, and that's when I gained weight. Of course I could lose it, but I wouldn't feel right. I still don't feel right, but I'd feel empty and bare without this fat on me. I'd be exposed. I took off my gloves and stared at the scars I had on my hands. I traced each one with my other hand, only feeling the self-hatred for myself growing. A reasonable person would probably punch a mirror in this circumstance but not me, no, I'd eat my feelings later. My head started throbbing from the banging on the door so I reluctantly  decided to put my gloves back on and open the door. 

 

"Jean, we have a plan." Sasha cheerfully said. I sighed, rubbing my face. I wasn't in the mood for one of their fucking games, but as usual I didn't have a choice. Before I could protest they dragged me out into Connie's shitty as fuck car, and began to drive. 

 

"Where the hell are we going?" I was pissed off, I didn't want to face society after the scene earlier. I looked up front to see the pair of them laughing, and not replying. I groaned because wherever the fuck we were going, I was sure that Jaeger was going to be there. Once you see him, he's everywhere. If I was being honest with you, I'd much rather be at my dorm, crying myself to sleep than going to whatever shitty place I was. Life's not that simple though, and I should know that first hand. 


End file.
